Duck Soup
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:50:02
THAT'S-A NO GOOD.
I CAN GET TEN TO ONE AT THE BARBERSHOP.

:50:05
CHICOLINI, YOU'RE
CHARGED WITH HIGH TREASON. IF FOUND GUILTY, YOU'LL BE SHOT.

:50:10
I OBJECT.
YOU OBJECT ?

:50:12
ON WHAT GROUNDS ?
I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY.

:50:15
- OBJECTION SUSTAINED.
- YOU SUSTAINED THE OBJECTION ?

:50:19
SURE, I COULDN'T THINK
OF ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY EITHER.

:50:22
WHEN WERE YOU BORN ?
:50:24
I DON'T REMEMBER.
I WAS JUST A LITTLE BABY.

:50:27
ISN'T IT TRUE YOU TRIED
TO SELL FREEDONIA'S SECRET WAR CODE AND PLANS ?

:50:32
SURE, I SOLD A CODE
AND TWO PAIR OF PLANS.

:50:35
SOME JOKE, EH, BOSS ?
:50:37
I'LL BET YA 20 TO ONE
WE FIND YA GUILTY.

:50:40
HAVE YOU ANYONE HERE
TO DEFEND YOU ?

:50:43
IT'S-A NO USE.
I EVEN OFFERED TO PAY AS HIGH AS $18.

:50:46
BUT I NO COULD GETTA
SOMEBODY TO DEFEND ME.

:50:48
MY FRIENDS, THIS MAN'S
CASE MOVES ME DEEPLY.

:50:53
LOOK AT CHICOLINI,
HE SITS THERE ALONE.

:50:58
AN ABJECT FIGURE.
I "ABJECT" !

:51:01
I SAY, LOOK AT CHICOLINI,
HE SITS THERE ALONE, A PITIABLE OBJECT.

:51:06
LET'S SEE YA GET
OUTTA THAT ONE. SURROUNDED BY A SEA OF UNFRIENDLY FACES.

:51:11
CHICOLINI, GIVE ME
A NUMBER FROM ONE TO TEN.

:51:14
ELEVEN.
RIGHT !

:51:15
NOW I ASK YOU ONE.
WHAT IS IT HAS A TRUNK, BUT NO KEY,

:51:19
WEIGHS 2,000 POUNDS
AND LIVES IN A CIRCUS ?

:51:21
THAT'S IRRELEVANT.
"RELEPHANT" !

:51:23
HEY, THAT'S THE ANSWER.
THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF RELEPHANTS IN A CIRCUS.

:51:27
THAT SORT OF TESTIMONY
WE CAN ELIMINATE.

:51:28
- THAT'S-A FINE, I'LL TAKE SOME.
- YOU'LL TAKE WHAT ?

:51:31
ELIMINATE, A NICE,
COLD GLASS OF ELIMINATE.

:51:34
HEY, BOSS,
I'M GOIN' GOOD.

:51:36
GENTLEMEN, CHICOLINI HERE
MAY TALK LIKE AN IDIOT AND LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.

:51:41
BUT DON'T LET THAT FOOL YOU.
HE REALLY IS AN IDIOT.

:51:44
I IMPLORE YOU.
SEND HIM BACK TO HIS FATHER AND BROTHERS...

:51:47
WHO ARE WAITING
FOR HIM WITH OPEN ARMS IN THE PENITENTIARY.

:51:50
I SUGGEST WE GIVE HIM
TEN YEARS IN LEAVENWORTH OR 11 YEARS IN TWELVEWORTH.

:51:55
I'LL TAKE
FIVE AND TEN IN WOOLWORTH.

:51:57
I WANTED TO GET A WRIT OF
HABEAS CORPUS, BUT I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A WRIT OF YOU.


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