1:17:02
Every time I met him, I hated myself.
1:17:05
And yet I lived for the moment
when I'd see him again.
1:17:09
It was horrible.
1:17:11
There was never an hour when I was at
peace, when I wasn't reproaching myself.
1:17:16
I was like a person who is sick with some
disease and doesn't want to get well.
1:17:21
Even my agony was a kind of joy.
1:17:27
Then there came a time about a year ago
when he began to change toward me.
1:17:30
I didn't know what was the matter.
I was frantic.
1:17:33
-I made scenes. I threw myself at his feet.
-Leslie.
1:17:37
Then I heard about that....
1:17:39
That native woman.
1:17:41
I couldn't believe it.
I wouldn't believe it!
1:17:45
At last I saw her.
1:17:46
Saw her walking in the village
with those hideous spangles...
1:17:49
...that chalky painted face...
1:17:52
...and those eyes like a cobra's eyes.
1:17:54
But I couldn't give him up.
1:17:56
I sent for him.
You read the letter.
1:17:59
We'd always been so careful
about writing before...
1:18:02
...but this time, I didn't care.
1:18:04
I hadn't seen him for 1 0 days.
1:18:09
He came to see me.
I told him I'd heard about his marriage.
1:18:12
He denied it. I was frantic.
I don't know what I said to him.
1:18:15
I hated him because
he made me despise myself.
1:18:18
I insulted him. I cursed him.
I was beside myself.
1:18:22
At last, he turned on me.
1:18:24
He told me he was sick and tired of me,
that it was true about that other woman...
1:18:29
...that she was the only one
that meant anything.
1:18:31
He was glad I knew because
now I'd leave him alone.
1:18:34
He got up, and I knew if he left,
I'd never see him again...
1:18:37
...so I seized the revolver and fired.
1:18:41
Heard a cry, and I knew I'd hit him.
1:18:44
He staggered toward the veranda...
1:18:47
...and I ran after him
and fired and fired and fired.
1:18:58
There's no excuse for me.