1:25:00
Did anybody in a play
ever act like they got intelligence?
1:25:03
-How can somebody be so stupid?
-You ought to have my job.
1:25:06
When you get out of prison, have yourself
wheeled to the Garrick Theater.
1:25:11
There's a play that's so bad,
it'll still be running when you get out.
1:25:14
There's a man.... Now listen to this.
1:25:16
He knows he's in the house with murderers
and should know he's in danger.
1:25:19
He's even been warned to get out.
And does he go?
1:25:22
No, he doesn't. He stays!
1:25:24
This fellow doesn't even have sense
to be scared or to be on his guard.
1:25:29
The murderer even invites him to sit down.
1:25:31
-What do you think he does?
-I don't know.
1:25:33
He sits down!
1:25:34
He deliberately pulls up a chair
and he sits down in it.
1:25:38
Isn't that great?
1:25:40
So there he is,
all waiting to be trussed up and gagged.
1:25:44
What do you think they tied him up with?
The curtain cord.
1:25:49
Curtain cord?
1:25:51
But didn't he see him get it?
1:25:52
No. The silly chump sits down
with his back toward the murderer.
1:25:56
All he has to do is look around,
but does he? No!
1:26:00
See, brother Heidelberg,
in a play or even in a movie...
1:26:03
...a fellow never sees or hears anything.
That's right.
1:26:07
But what does he do?
1:26:09
The big chump sits there.
This fellow's supposed to be bright.
1:26:13
Now get a load of this.
Look at the attitude.
1:26:16
Large as life! He sits there
waiting to be tied up and gagged.
1:26:20
The big dope!
1:26:30
You were right about that fellow.
He wasn't very bright.
1:26:35
Yes, Mortimer.
1:26:38
I've been away for 20 years.
1:26:40
But never, my dear brother,
were you out of my mind.
1:26:46
In Melbourne one night, I dreamt of you.