:15:10
What are we going to do about you?
:15:16
Father wrote and asked me
to come and find you.
:15:19
- For months he's not heard from you.
- There was nothing to tell.
:15:23
What right have you to decide that?
:15:25
Cut yourself off from everybody,
even from me.
:15:29
You've become a stranger.
You've changed.
:15:33
I haven't changed, Theo.
:15:35
Outwardly, perhaps, but inside me,
I still want the same things.
:15:39
What things?
:15:41
The things we talked about
in the old days.
:15:44
To be of use, to work,
to bring something to the world.
:15:49
Do you think this is the answer?
:15:52
I don't know.
:15:56
We've grown apart, Theo.
:15:58
Look, you found what you wanted in Paris
and I'm glad for you.
:16:03
I've found nothing anywhere.
:16:06
I've made one bad start after another.
One mess after another.
:16:09
I thought I was on my way here
by doing God's work.
:16:13
That was the worst failure of all.
:16:17
But no matter how often I fail,
there is something in me.
:16:20
- That I am good for something.
- But this is not the way to find it.
:16:25
Hiding away here, wasting your time.
:16:29
You've become an idler.
:16:33
An idler? Yes.
:16:36
But there are two kinds of idlers.
:16:38
There's the man who's idle
because he wants to be, out of laziness.
:16:42
How easy that is. I envy him.
:16:48
There's the other kind...
:16:50
the man who's idle in spite of himself.
:16:53
I want nothing but to work.
:16:55
Only, I can't.
:16:58
I'm in a cage, a cage of shame
and self-doubt and failure.