:03:02
Hey, pal, you oughta quit
that punk job of yours.
:03:05
- Why don't you join a sales outfit?
- It's no use, boys.
:03:08
Every time I'm in town, I ask him to go
on the road for our company. Right, pal?
:03:12
Sure, Ed, sure. Listen, fellas, listen.
:03:15
Two dames at a bar. One dame says to
another "If I don't get to bed pretty soon,
:03:20
I'm goin' home and go to sleep!"
:03:25
Would you make it a merry Christmas
for some poor orphan?
:03:28
Here you are, lady.
:03:29
That oughtn't to be allowed
in a place like this.
:03:31
- Religion don't belong in a speakeasy.
- I know it's Christmas, but...
:03:35
Mac, wait a minute. Excuse me,
Sister. Excuse me. Excuse me.
:03:38
Don't tell me we're gonna let
these angels of mercy
:03:41
go away from here
empty-handed on Christmas Eve.
:03:44
This joint is the home
of fine bourbon and fast women,
:03:47
and we need plenty of religion
to keep 'em both in line. So, come on.
:03:50
Get it up, now. Come on. Oh, come on.
A little action here. What's the matter?
:03:57
Oh.
:04:01
Hey!
:04:03
Hey, Lord? Can you hear me
up there, Jesus?
:04:06
You didn't think we'd forget
your birthday, did you?
:04:09
There you are, Jesus. And if I had
any more, you'd be welcome to it.
:04:14
- Thank you, brother.
-
:04:17
The Bible says "Never let your left hand
know what your right hand is doing."
:04:22
What's your beef, mister?
You ashamed of bein' a Christian?
:04:26
I see. You think religion is for suckers
and easy marks and mollycoddles, huh?
:04:31
You think Jesus was some kind
of a sissy, eh? Let me tell you,
:04:34
Jesus wouldn't be afraid to walk in here
or any speakeasy to preach the gospel.
:04:38
Jesus had guts! He wasn't afraid
of the whole Roman army.
:04:42
Think that quarterback's
hot stuff? Well, let me tell you,
:04:45
Jesus would have made the best little
all-American quarterback in history.
:04:50
Jesus was a real fighter. The best little
scrapper, pound for pound, you ever saw.
:04:55
And why, gentlemen? Love, gentlemen.
:04:58
Jesus had love in both fists.
And what is love?