:11:02
#If you spoke as she does, sir,
instead of the way you do #
:11:05
# Why, you might be selling flowers, too #
:11:08
I beg your pardon.
:11:09
# An Englishman's way of speaking
absolutely classifies him #
:11:13
# The moment he talks he makes
some other Englishman despise him #
:11:16
# One common language
I'm afraid we'll never get #
:11:19
# Oh, why can't the English learn to... #
:11:23
# ...set a good example to people
whose English is painful to your ears #
:11:29
# The Scotch and the Irish
leave you close to tears #
:11:32
# There even are places
where English completely disappears #
:11:37
# Why, in America
they haven't used it for years! #
:11:40
# Why can't the English
teach their children how to speak? #
:11:43
# Norwegians learn Norwegian,
the Greeks are taught their Greek #
:11:47
# In France every Frenchman
knows his language from 'A' to 'Z' #
:11:51
# The French don't care
what they do actually #
:11:53
# As long as they pronounce it properly #
:11:55
# Arabians learn Arabian
with the speed of summer lightning #
:11:59
# The Hebrews learn it backwards
which is absolutely frightening #
:12:02
# Use proper English,
you're regarded as a freak #
:12:06
# Oh, why can't the English #
:12:09
# Why can't the English learn to speak? ##
:12:21
Thank you.
:12:23
See this creature
with her curbstone English...
:12:25
...that'll keep her in the gutter
till the end of her days?
:12:27
In six months I could pass her off
as a duchess at an Embassy Ball.
:12:32
I could get her a job as a lady's maid
or a shop assistant...
:12:35
...which requires better English.
:12:36
What's that you say?
:12:38
Yes, you squashed cabbage leaf!
:12:41
You disgrace to the noble architecture
of these columns!
:12:44
You incarnate insult
to the English language!
:12:47
I could pass you off as the Queen of Sheba.
:12:52
You don't believe that, Capt'n?
:12:54
Anything's possible.
I, myself, am a student of Indian dialects.
:12:58
Are you? Do you know Colonel Pickering,
the author of "Spoken Sanskrit"?