:18:00
And all the trumpets of Paris
are sounding reveille.
:18:09
Over a shot of the Arch of Triumph,
:18:12
superimpose
"An Alexander Meyerheim production".
:18:16
Cut to the Eiffel Tower.
The main title.
:18:22
The trumpets segue
into the inevitable title song.
:18:26
Maybe we can get
Sinatra to sing it.
:18:42
There follows an interminable list
of other credits
:18:45
acknowledging the efforts of
all the quote little people unquote,
:18:49
whom I shall graciously thank
in my acceptance speech
:18:52
at the Academy Awards.
:18:54
As the cymbals crash,
:18:56
"Original Story and Screenplay
by Richard Benson".
:19:01
OK.
:19:03
Fade out.
:19:05
And fade in.
A picturesque Parisian square,
:19:09
where the holiday festivities
are in progress.
:19:12
A simple Parisian working girl,
:19:14
who looks remarkably like you,
Miss Simpson,
:19:16
emerges from
her simple Parisian dwelling
:19:18
and makes her way through the crowd
and across the square.
:19:28
She seats herself at a table
at this little café she goes to.
:19:31
With breathless anticipation,
she awaits the arrival of her date.
:19:35
Some... actor.
:19:38
Now I suppose
we'll have to describe him.
:19:41
I see him
as curiously unattractive.
:19:44
Not at all. Philippe happens to be
very handsome.
:19:47
In fact, he looks rather like,
erm, Tony Curtis.
:19:50
I see him as one of those
mumbling scratching actors
:19:53
destined only for minor roles
and character parts.
:19:55
And his name is not Philippe.
It's Maurice.
:19:58
Maurice!