:36:02
War isn't hell at all. Man at his best.
:36:05
The highest morality he's capable of.
:36:07
Never mind all that.
What's this about a wife?
:36:09
That night,
I sat in the jungles of Guadalcanal...
:36:13
waiting to be killed, sopping wet.
:36:15
It was then I had my blinding revelation.
:36:19
I discovered I was a coward.
:36:21
That's my new religion.
I'm a big believer in it.
:36:23
Cowardice will save the world.
It's not war that's insane, you see.
:36:27
It's the morality of it. It's not greed
and ambition that makes wars.
:36:31
It's goodness.
:36:32
Wars are always fought
for the best of reasons...
:36:34
for liberation or manifest destiny...
:36:36
always against tyranny
and always in the interest of humanity.
:36:40
So far this war
we've managed to butcher...
:36:42
some 10,000,000 humans
in the interest of humanity.
:36:44
Next war, it seems we'll have
to destroy all of man...
:36:47
in order to preserve his damn dignity.
:36:49
It's not war that's unnatural to us.
It's virtue.
:36:52
As long as valor remains a virtue
we shall have soldiers.
:36:55
So I preach cowardice.
:36:57
Through cowardice, we shall all be saved.
:36:59
That was exalting, Commander.
Absolutely occult.
:37:03
Never mind the metaphysics, Commander.
Let's get back to your wife.
:37:07
Needless to say, that first night,
I wrote Adm. Jessup, saying...
:37:11
"For heaven's sakes, get me out of this."
:37:13
Two weeks later,
I was transferred back to Washington.
:37:15
I raced home to my wife...
:37:17
- And found her with another man.
- Lord, no.
:37:20
My wife, who had deceived me
more times before the war...
:37:23
than I care to think about...
:37:24
was now having the time of her life
being faithful.
:37:27
She was furious with me for coming back.
:37:29
There was no reason
for her being virtuous anymore.
:37:32
She promptly sued me for divorce...
:37:34
on the grounds of religious differences.
:37:35
I was a self-preservationist...
:37:37
and she was a high
Anglican sentimentalist.
:37:40
You're fair game, then.
:37:45
After every war, you know we always
find out how unnecessary it was...
:37:48
and after this I'm sure all the generals...
:37:50
will write books about the blunders
made by other generals...
:37:53
and statesmen will publish
their secret diaries...
:37:56
and it'll show beyond
any shadow of doubt...
:37:58
that war could easily have been avoided
in the first place.