How to Murder Your Wife
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:14:02
Poor Mr. Lampson.
:14:05
Stanley! Can't you stop for just a minute?
:14:07
I’m speaking to you now,
not as a lawyer but as a friend.

:14:10
Stan, you're a grown man,
and grown men simply can't...

:14:14
...repeat, can't go spreading terror in New York
at the height of noon accompanied...

:14:19
-Will you stop just a minute?
-...by naked women!

:14:22
She wasn't naked!
She had a diamond in her navel.

:14:26
All right, and those demented butlers
and criminals with knives.

:14:29
You cannot continue comporting yourself
in the manner of an escaped lunatic!

:14:34
Bash Brannigan, Secret Agent
is syndicated in 463 newspapers.

:14:37
-You know why?
-Sure, I know.

:14:39
Because of hardcore pornography...
:14:42
...softened slightly, ever so slightly,
by excessive violence and sadism!

:14:47
Bash Brannigan is enjoyed by millions
because my readers know it's authentic.

:14:52
I never asked Bash to do anything
I hadn't already done myself.

:15:00
Stan.
:15:03
I wanna remind you, lad,
that you are now 37 years old.

:15:07
And, quite frankly, it's time that you settle down.
:15:10
Edna and I were discussing you last night,
and Edna feels...

:15:13
...frankly, I agree with her,
that there's something almost immoral...

:15:17
...about a man of your age who isn't married.
:15:20
Doesn't go to an office,
sits around drawing an infantile comic strip...

:15:24
...that appeals only to morons.
:15:27
Stanley, are you listening?
:15:33
I happen to mention to the kids...
:15:35
...that I was gonna be meeting with you
this afternoon.

:15:38
We kinda have...
:15:41
...a little family argument
that we want you to settle. The point is that...

:15:46
...Hal and Tommy both think that the microfilm...
:15:50
...is hidden in the diamond in the girl's navel.
:15:55
I told them that they were crazy.
:15:57
In fact, I went a little bit out on a limb.
:15:59
I told them that I was your lawyer
and I knew damn well...


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