:23:00
Making changes...
The worst thing with me is l'm so lazy.
:23:04
And then l get a bad conscience. Karl-
Henrik scolds me for lacking ambition.
:23:09
He says l go around like a sleepwalker.
l think that's unfair.
:23:13
l was best in my group with the exams.
But he probably means something else.
:23:20
You know...
:23:22
Oh, sorry. You know
what l sometimes think of?
:23:26
At the hospital where l did my exam,
there's a home for old nurses.
:23:30
Ones that have always been nurses,
lived for their work. Always in uniform.
:23:36
They live in their small rooms. lmagine
devoting your whole life to something.
:23:42
l mean, believing in something.
Accomplishing something.
:23:46
Believing that one's life has a purpose.
l like things like that.
:23:51
Sticking to one thing doggedly,
irrespective. l think one ought to.
:23:56
Mean something to other people.
Don't you think so as well?
:24:05
l know it sounds childish,
but l believe in it.
:24:10
Goodness, it's raining a lot!
:24:13
Oh, yes. He was married.
We had a relationship for five years.
:24:19
Then he got tired, of course.
:24:22
l was very much in love, that's for sure.
And he was the first.
:24:26
l remember it all like a long torment.
:24:30
Long periods of pain
and then short moments when...
:24:35
l'm thinking of it as you've taught me
to smoke. He smoked loads.
:24:40
Thinking of it afterwards,
it's really banal. A real pulp fiction.
:24:47
ln a strange way
it was never really real.
:24:51
l don't know how to describe it.
At least, l was never quite real to him.
:24:58
My pain was real, that's for sure.