:38:01
I'd say, "I don't know.
I'm not hungry."
:38:03
Then 3 A.M., I'd wake her up,
and I'd say, "Now."
:38:06
I've been one of
the highest-paid sportswriters
:38:09
for the past
14 years.
:38:10
We saved $8.50
in pennies.
:38:12
I'm never home.
I gamble.
:38:14
I burn cigar holes
in furniture,
:38:16
drink like a fish,
lie to her.
:38:18
Then for our 10th
wedding anniversary, I took her
:38:21
to the New York Rangers/
Detroit Red Wings hockey game,
:38:23
where she got hit
by a puck.
:38:28
I still can't figure out
why she left me.
:38:30
That's how
impossible I am.
:38:32
Come on. Let's get
out of here.
:38:34
The muggers
will be here soon.
:38:36
I don't think I can take
living alone, Oscar.
:38:42
In two weeks,
I'll go to pieces.
:38:44
How will I work?
How will I make a living?
:38:47
You'll go on
street corners and cry.
:38:49
They'll throw
nickels at you.
:38:51
Tonight you'll
sleep here.
:38:52
Tomorrow you get
your clothes
:38:53
and your
electric toothbrush,
:38:55
and you move
in here with me.
:38:56
It's your apartment.
I'll just be in the way.
:38:58
There's eight rooms.
:38:59
We could go for a year
without seeing each other.
:39:01
Don't you understand?
I want you to move in.
:39:03
Why? I'm a pest.
:39:05
I know you're a pest.
Don't keep telling me.
:39:06
Why do you want me
to move in?
:39:07
Because I can't stand
living alone, that's why.
:39:09
For crying out loud,
I'm proposing to you.
:39:11
What do you want...
a ring?
:39:12
Oscar, if you mean it,
:39:14
there's a lot
I can do around here.
:39:17
I'm very handy
around the house.
:39:18
I know how to fix things.
:39:19
I fixed my wife's
hair dryer.
:39:21
I don't have a hair dryer.
Blanche took it.
:39:23
Well, let me do
something.
:39:24
I got to do something.
:39:26
You can take my wife's
initials off the towels.
:39:28
You can sleep in here,
Brucey's room.
:39:31
I can cook, you know?
:39:33
I'm a terrific cook.
:39:34
You don't
have to cook.
:39:36
I got enough potato chips
for a year.
:39:38
Two meals a day at home.
We'll save a fortune.
:39:40
We got to pay alimony,
you know.
:39:41
OK, Felix,
you can cook.
:39:43
You like leg of lamb?
I'll make it this weekend.
:39:45
Oh, I got to call Frances.
She's got my big pot.
:39:48
Hey, will you
forget Frances?
:39:50
We'll get
our own pots.
:39:51
Don't drive me crazy
before you move in.
:39:54
[Telephone Ringing]
:39:55
Well, listen,
Oscar, uh, hey,
:39:58
if I do anything
that irritates you