The Odd Couple
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1:26:06
All right, Oscar.
I'd like to know what's happened.

1:26:11
What's happened?
1:26:12
Something made you
go off the deep end.

1:26:14
Is it something I said
or something I did?

1:26:16
Nothing you said.
1:26:17
Don't start me, Felix.
1:26:19
Is it the cooking
or the cleaning? The crying?

1:26:22
I can tell you
exactly what it is.

1:26:24
It's the cooking,
the cleaning, the crying.

1:26:26
It's the talking in your sleep.
1:26:28
It's those moose calls
that open your ears

1:26:30
at 2:00 in the morning.
1:26:35
I can't take it anymore, Felix.
1:26:37
I'm cracking up.
1:26:39
Everything you do irritates me,
1:26:41
and when you're not here,
1:26:43
the things you'll do
when you come in irritate me.

1:26:45
You leave me little notes
on my pillow.

1:26:47
I've told you 158 times
1:26:50
I cannot stand little notes
on my pillow.

1:26:52
"We are all out
of cornflakes. F.U."

1:26:55
Took me three hours
to figure out

1:26:57
that F.U. was Felix Ungar.
1:27:08
It's not your fault, Felix.
1:27:10
It's a rotten combination,
that's all.

1:27:12
Yeah. I get the picture.
1:27:14
I haven't even
painted the picture yet.

1:27:17
I got a typewritten
list in my office

1:27:19
of the 10 most
aggravating things you do

1:27:21
that drive me berserk,
1:27:24
but last night was the topper.
1:27:26
Oh, brother, that was the topper.
1:27:28
That was the ever-loving
lulu of all times.

1:27:32
I had it all set up
1:27:33
with that English Betty Boop
and her sister,

1:27:35
and I wind up drinking tea
1:27:37
and telling them
your life story.

1:27:38
I warned you
not to make that date

1:27:40
in the first place.
1:27:41
Don't point that finger at me
1:27:42
unless you intend to use it.
1:27:44
Get off of my back, Oscar!
1:27:45
What's this?
A display of temper?

1:27:47
I haven't seen you
really angry

1:27:48
since the day
I dropped my cigar

1:27:50
in your pancake batter.
1:27:51
Oscar, you're asking
to hear something

1:27:53
I don't want to say,
but if I do say it,

1:27:54
I think you ought to hear it.
1:27:56
You got anything on your chest
besides your chin,

1:27:58
you better get it off.

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