1:01:25
I'm Bill Simmons.
This is Tom Sloan. FBl.
1:01:28
We're here to see
that your safety is ensured.
1:01:31
We'll act as your shield
in the event of trouble.
1:01:36
We missed him. We get most of them.
1:01:45
What am I appearing
at a fundraising dinner for?
1:01:48
I know nothing about public speaking.
1:01:50
All you have to do is open up
with a joke, a funny story.
1:01:54
Once you have them laughing,
then you hit them for money. Simple.
1:01:57
Very simple. Open with a funny story,
then hit 'em for money.
1:02:01
I'm... I'm reminded tonight of the...
1:02:03
of the farmer who had
1:02:06
incestuous relations with both
his daughters simultaneously...
1:02:14
It's the... It's... It's the...
1:02:16
It's the... wrong crowd for this joke.
1:02:20
Although the united States
is a very rich country
1:02:26
and San Marcos is a very poor one,
1:02:29
there are a great many things
we have to offer your country
1:02:33
in return for aid.
1:02:35
For instance, there are locusts.
1:02:38
We... We have more locusts than...
Locusts of all races and creeds...
1:02:45
These locusts, incidentally,
are available at popular prices.
1:02:51
So, by the way,
are most of the women of San Marcos.
1:02:55
Now, then, despite
the tiny size of our nation,