:34:02
l don't!
:34:04
There's no merit about being in pain,
that's just pure old masochism.
:34:08
l'm talking about passion, Hesther.
:34:11
You know what that word meant originally?
Suffering.
:34:14
The way you get your own spirit
through your own suffering.
:34:17
Self-chosen. Self-made.
This boy's done that.
:34:22
He's created his own desperate ceremony...
:34:26
just to ignite one flame of original ecstasy
in the spiritless waste around him.
:34:31
All right...
:34:34
he's destroyed for it, horribly.
:34:36
He's virtually been destroyed by it.
:34:38
One thing l know for sure,
that boy has known a passion...
:34:41
more ferocious than l have known
in any second of my life.
:34:44
Let me tell you something. l envy it.
:34:47
-You can't.
-Don't you see?
:34:49
That's what his stare has said all this time.
:34:51
''At least l galloped. When did you?''
:35:01
l'm jealous, Hesther.
:35:05
Jealous...
:35:07
of Alan Strang.
:35:10
That's absurd.
:35:12
-ls it?
-Yes, utterly.
:35:15
Utterly!
:35:17
l go on about my wife.
Have you thought about the husband?
:35:21
The finicky, critical husband,
with his art books on mythical Greece?
:35:25
What real worship has he known?
Without worship, you shrink!
:35:29
lt's brutal. l shrank my life.
No one can do it for you.
:35:32
l settled for being pallid and provincial
out of my eternal timidity.
:35:35
The old story of bluster, and do bugger-all.
:35:40
l didn't even dare to have children...
:35:42
didn't dare to bring children into
a house and marriage as cold as mine.
:35:49
l tell everyone Margaret is the puritan,
l'm the pagan.
:35:52
Some pagan. Such wild returns l make
to the womb of civilization.
:35:57
Three weeks a year in the Mediterranean.
:35:59
Beds booked in advance,
meals paid with vouchers...