1:19:00
Every hour of the day
l thought of you.
1:19:03
l am also lonely.
1:19:07
Yes.
1:19:09
Full of astonishment
l look back on our lives...
1:19:13
on our former reality
and think it was all a dream.
1:19:18
lt was a game. Lord knows
what the hell we were doing.
1:19:24
This is true reality,
and it's unbearable.
1:19:27
l talk, answer, think,
put on my clothes...
1:19:31
sleep and eat. lt's a daily
compulsion. A strange, hard surface.
1:19:37
But under that surface, l'm crying.
1:19:42
l'm crying for myself...
1:19:47
because l can no longer be
the way l was.
1:19:52
What was, can never be again.
lt's been destroyed. lt's gone...
1:19:57
like a dream.
1:20:01
l cry for Peter.
1:20:05
l've never been able to put myself
in other people's shoes.
1:20:11
But suddenly l think l know
what Peter is feeling and thinking.
1:20:17
l realize that he's unprotected,
frightened and lonely.
1:20:22
So very lonely.
1:20:26
He has turned away, won't return, no
matter how much we call out to him.
1:20:34
But the worst part of it is...
1:20:37
the horrible part,
one l can barely talk about...
1:20:41
is that poor woman. l tell myself she
was only frightened for a moment...
1:20:47
that she didn't realize
what was happening to her.
1:20:53
That doesn't help.
1:20:58
Doesn't help.