:57:02
by paying half your holiday money
to a licensed bandit in a taxi,
:57:06
there's no water in the pool, there's no water
in the bog, there's no water in the tap,
:57:10
there's only a bleeding lizard in the bidet,
and half the rooms are double-booked,
:57:15
and you can't sleep anyway, 'cause of the
permanent twenty-four hour drilling
:57:18
of the foundations of the hotel next door.
:57:19
Meanwhile, the Spanish National Tourist Board
promises you the raging cholera epidemic
:57:24
is merely a mild outbreak of Spanish Tummy,
rather like the previous outbreak in 1616
:57:29
even the bloody rats are dying from it!
:57:33
As early as the late 14th century, or indeed
as late as the early 14th century,
:57:41
the earliest forms of japes were divisible in...
:57:43
Meanwhile, the bloody Guardia are busy
arresting 16-year-olds for kissing in the streets.
:57:47
And finally on the last day
in the airport lounge,
:57:50
everybody's buying little awful horrid
donkeys with their names on,
:57:53
and bullfight posters with their own
names on, like Antonio ----,
:57:57
Mr Brian Pules of Norwich.
And then finally when you get to bloody Luton,
:58:02
you're ---- ---- for another four hours,
while they find
:58:05
a plane that has to take you back to Manchester.
:58:07
And when you finally get to Manchester,
there's only another bloody bus
:58:11
you have to wait sixteen hours for...
:58:17
As early as the late 14th century or
indeed as late as the early 14th century,
:58:23
the earliest forms of jape were
divisible into the two categories
:58:26
into which I now intend to divide them.
:58:29
The earliest manifestation of the of the
basic simple precipitation jest incurred,
:58:34
as will be seen from the demonstration,
a disproportionate amount of internal
:58:38
risibility on the part of the operator.
:58:59
Secondary precipitation occurs when both
protagonists and dupe are located indoors.