:42:03
- Who cares?
- No, l care.
:42:05
You used to be so ambitious and...
:42:08
God, you really liked it?!
:42:33
Gosh, you really went through a crisis,
you know that? How did you get over it?
:42:37
When l ran into you, you seemed
just perfectly fine. You seem fine now.
:42:43
Well, l'll tell you. One day,
about a month ago, l really hit bottom.
:42:48
ljust felt that in a Godless universe,
l didn't want to go on living.
:42:53
Now, l happen to own this rifle, which
l loaded and pressed to my forehead,
:42:59
and l remember thinking.;
l'm gonna kill myself.
:43:01
Then l thought.; what ifl'm wrong?
:43:04
What ifthere is a God?
After all, nobody really knows that.
:43:07
But then l thought.;
no, maybe is not good enough.
:43:11
l want certainty or nothing.
:43:14
And l remember very clearly
the clock was ticking
:43:17
and l was sitting there, frozen,
with the gun to my head,
:43:20
debating whether to shoot.
:43:22
(gunshot)
:43:25
All ofa sudden, the gun went off. l had
been so tense, l'd squeezed the trigger.
:43:30
But l was perspiring so much, the gun
had slid off my forehead and missed me.
:43:35
- (gunshot)
- Neighbours were pounding on the door
:43:39
and, l don't know, the whole scene
wasjust pandemonium.
:43:42
And l ran to the door, l didn't know what
to say. l was embarrassed and confused.
:43:48
My mind was racing a mile a minute,
and ljust knew one thing.
:43:53
l had to get out of that house, just
get out in the fresh air and clear my head.
:43:59
And l remember very clearly
l walked the streets.