:42:02
But I'm a little nervous because
Harvey was a personal friend of mine,
:42:06
and there's not a person in this
room that Harvey Pitnik did not touch.
:42:09
I must say, he touched me for 40
bucks and Steve for 20. [Cackles]
:42:14
Folks, I don't dance.
This is it, you see.
:42:16
[Laughing]
:42:19
But I do feel for his widow,
Bernice. That was a romantic marriage.
:42:23
She learned everything about sex
from a manual.
:42:27
The "Manuel" was their
gardener. [Cackles]
:42:31
[Crowd Laughing] [Laughing] I'm
sorry. I better wrap it up now, folks.
:42:35
'Cause you know the old axiom in
show business... "get off quick. "
:42:39
Like Harvey
on his wedding night.
:42:41
- Could you die? I gotta go. Good-bye.
Thank you so much. - ¤ [Fanfare]
:42:45
Thank you folks. I'm thrilled to
be here tonight to pay tribute...
:42:48
to the late Harvey Pitnik.
:42:50
But enough about Harvey.
:42:52
[Mourners, Panelists Laughing]
:42:55
Take my wife. Please.
[Continue Laughing]
:43:00
Why do Jewish divorces cost
so much? They're worth it.
:43:07
Why do Jewish guys die before
their wives? They want to.
:43:11
[Laughter,
Scattered Applause]
:43:15
And that's what
I think of you, Harvey.
:43:17
[Laughter, Applause]
¤ [Jazzy Fanfare]
:43:24
Thank you, Henny Youngman, for that trip
down memory lane. And now... [Laughing]
:43:28
¤ [Rim Shot]
[Laughing]
:43:31
But seriously. Henny, you were
never funnier... and it's a shame.
:43:35
¤ [Jazzy Fanfare] [White] But I was asked
to say a couple of words about Harvey.
:43:40
How about "ugly" and "cheap"?
:43:43
Harvey wrote his will
on his cock,
:43:46
and his lawyer said it would
not stand up in court.
:43:49
[Laughter, Pounding On
Table] [No Audible Dialogue]
:43:55
Okay, Mrs. Pitnik. You're on. What?
:43:58
You're on. Oh, no. Oh,
no. I really can't...