:09:00
Anything else
is always something better. "
:09:04
Coughlin's Law?
:09:05
Douglas Coughlin,
logical negativist.
:09:08
Flourished in the last part
of the 20th century.
:09:11
Propounded a set of laws that
the world generally ignored...
:09:14
to its detriment.
:09:16
Me.
:09:17
- Ever work behind the bar?
- My uncle's in the business.
:09:22
You know how to make a Red Eye,"
mister... What's your name?
:09:24
Brian Flanagan.
No, I'm...
:09:26
sorry I haven't had
the pleasure as yet.
:09:29
What about a vodka martini
with a Pernod float?
:09:31
I'm a fast learner.
:09:35
Ever throw a 400-pound
psychopath out of a bar?
:09:38
I guess I could if I had to.
:09:40
What about a 100-pound ballerina
that's been speeding for three days?
:09:43
just open the door and let her
pirouette out in the street?
:09:48
Well, these are just some of the tasks
you'll be asked to perform, young Flanagan.
:09:51
This is the Upper East Side, the saloon
capital of the world. The big time.
:09:54
Are you ready for the big time,
young Mr. Flanagan?
:10:00
I think I can handle it.
:10:05
- Get your act together!
- Vodka and Rose's, please!
:10:08
Hey, come on, man! I got four people waiting for
me! I'm not going back there with three drinks!
:10:12
I know! It's coming!
:10:14
Absolut on the rocks,
Gilbey's and tonic, and a Velvet Hammer.
:10:16
- This isn't what I ordered!
- A Molson and a Cuba Libre!
:10:19
- What was that?
- A Molson and a Cuba Libre!
:10:25
What is this,
hire the handicapped" week?
:10:27
If you're gonna sit in the water,
go to Coney Island!
:10:30
You want me
to bite the top off this?
:10:32
Here. This has got recipes.
:10:34
- Ordering a Cuba Libre!
- Could I please have a glass of water?
:10:38
- He doesn't know how to make it!
- Where's my Jim Beam on the rocks?
:10:41
It's coming!
:10:42
I'm not leaving
until I get my Cuba Libre!
:10:45
Excuse me.
Could I have an Orgasm?
:10:47
- This isn't what I ordered!
- A white wine.
:10:50
You bitch!
:10:52
Why didn't you just tell me
it was a rum and Coke?
:10:54
- Could I have what I ordered?
- A Bloody Mary.
:10:57
- A white wine.
- Pink Squirrel!