1:03:00
You sound down. Has this not been
the happiest of New Years?
1:03:03
No, Margaret. This hasn't been
my happiest New Year.
1:03:07
This one's starting off
pretty fucking badly.
1:03:10
Aw, how come?
Well, Betty...
1:03:13
leaves me here all by myself,
and first thing right off the bat,
1:03:17
I'm fucked
by a coven of witches.
1:03:19
You were fucked
by an oven full of witches?
1:03:21
A coven of witches!
Not an oven!
1:03:26
Well, one witch
in particular.
1:03:28
Was she an old hag with a mole on
her face with hair growing out of it?
1:03:33
No, no, she was
very beautiful.
1:03:35
Ted? What's the problem?
1:03:40
Well, admittedly, that was
the best part of the evening.
1:03:45
It was pretty
bloody good actually.
1:03:48
But it's still a pretty unnerving way
to start off the night.
1:03:51
Sounds like a pretty great way
to start off the night to me.
1:03:54
Why don't we just
skip over the witches?
Skipping the witches.
1:03:58
Right. Later,
in another room,
1:04:01
some crazy fucking maniac
sticks a gun in my face...
1:04:05
and forces me to play out
some psychosexual drama with his wife.
1:04:08
He made you have
psycho sex with his wife?
1:04:10
No, he didn't make me fuck his wife.
He thought I fucked his wife.
1:04:13
He held me at gunpoint
with a loaded gun!
What kind of gun was it?
1:04:16
I don't know.
I'm not a gun guy. It was big.
1:04:18
Was it like Dirty Harry's gun?
Yeah, sort of like that, yeah.
1:04:23
Did it have a real long barrel
or a short barrel?
1:04:25
What difference
does it make?
1:04:28
Well, for one thing, it's a difference
between a .44 Magnum and a Magnum .357.
1:04:32
Who the fuck cares whether it was a
.44 or a .392? It was a big fucking gun!
1:04:37
It was loaded! And it was pointed
right at my fucking head!
1:04:40
You wanna skip this part too?
I want you to get Betty on
the phone right fucking now.
1:04:44
Hold on.
Anybody live here named--
1:04:49
What's her name again?
1:04:51
Betty.
Betty!
1:04:55
Whatcha
screaming about?
1:04:57
You're Betty?
Yeah, I'm Betty.
It's my fucking place.