:39:02
Animals are boring!
:39:05
But people pay money to see them,
which led me to my latest inspiration.
:39:09
We are talking about a whole
new concept in sponsorship...
:39:11
that completely eliminates
the non-event impact deficit.
:39:15
For instance-- What have we here?
:39:17
An African spurred tortoise.
:39:23
Who gives a shit, right?
I mean, look at it.
:39:26
Ifit died, would we know?
:39:28
My grandmother's grave is
a bigger attraction. But wait.
:39:51
It's notjust some
nonentity tortoise now.
:39:54
It's Bruce Springsteen's tortoise.
:39:57
Immediately, it's an event!
:39:59
It's practically a celebrity itself.
:40:01
Will he come and visit it?
:40:03
- What?
- Will he come and visit it?
:40:07
- Yeah, when his schedule allows.
- So he's agreed to sponsor it?
:40:10
I'm expecting his call any minute.
But the potential!
:40:14
We can market little
Bruce Springsteen tortoises.
:40:17
Jurassic Park made halfofits money
from those little plastic dinosaurs.
:40:21
And they're even deader than
this heap ofgarbage! Follow me!
:40:26
Now here we have a Brazilian tapir.
:40:30
I have to say I've dated
better-looking women.
:40:32
Now, listen to this
experience-enhancing...
:40:35
digitally-manipulated
educational tool.
:40:38
Brazilian tapirs.
:40:40
Solitary, three-toedungulates which
inhabitlowlandforests insunny Brazil.
:40:45
Reachablenowin less than 14hours
via BritishAirways'...
:40:49
nonstop flights tostunning
Rio deJaneiro.
:40:52
Imean, it'sbadenough
having to wearthis rubbish!
:40:55
- I do know whatyou mean.
- I can only assume he's planning...
:40:57
to turn the entire zoo
into a supermarket...
:40:59
where he can sell videos
about animals in other zoos.