Nil by Mouth

1:43:02

You know, that sign
above Daddy's head." All right?

1:43:06

She said, "Nil by mouth."

1:43:11

"What's that, a football score?"

1:43:13

One-nil, three-nil, two-nil,
a geezer called fucking Nil. Yeah.

1:43:19

I said, "Well, what's it mean?"

1:43:21

She said, "lt means...."

1:43:25

-lt means nothing to eat.
-Yeah, nothing down the....

1:43:29

-Nothing down the-- Yeah.
-Yeah. All right.

1:43:33

I remembered that day...

1:43:37

...because I could've put that
on his fucking tombstone, you know?

1:43:42

Because I don't remember one kiss,
you know, one cuddle. Nothing.

1:43:48

I mean, plenty went down,
not a lot come out.

1:43:51

You know, nothing that
was any fucking good.

1:43:58

And I'd look at this man
that I call Dad, you know?

1:44:03

My father, I knew him as Dad.
He was my fucking dad...

1:44:08

...but he weren't like
other kids' dads, you know?

1:44:11

It was as if the word itself
was enough...

1:44:16

...and it ain't.

1:44:27

-That ain't when he died though, is it?
-No.

1:44:31

He lived another 1 0 years,
slippery cunt.

1:44:33

He died one afternoon
in that fucking armchair. About right.

1:44:39

I went around to see him when
he was plotted up at me mother's.

1:44:43

-Hatcham Road?
-Yeah.

1:44:44

He was upstairs in that
front bedroom. Laid out.

1:44:47

-Free.
-Yeah. Yeah.

1:44:49

I've gone up there, gone in.

1:44:53

I'm sitting on the bed looking at him.
He's laying there like:

1:44:57

Mullered.