1:22:00
To four hundred horny punters?
Ask me another one, kid.
1:22:04
ALAN: Hey, by heck...
1:22:05
our old English teacher's
on front row.
1:22:08
GAZ:
We're gonna get torn to pieces.
1:22:10
They will
if you don't get out there.
1:22:11
Have you ever seen...
1:22:13
a zebra brought down
by a pack of wolves?
1:22:14
Marvelous,
these nature programs.
1:22:17
Aren't they marvelous?
1:22:18
GERALD:
Oh, brilliant, aren't they?
1:22:19
GUY: They are, aren't they?
1:22:20
GERALD: Oh, pack it in.
1:22:22
DAVE: Not lost your bottle,
have you, Gaz?
1:22:24
-Dave!
-Dave.
1:22:26
DAVE: There were nowt on telly,
so I thought I'd give it a go.
1:22:28
Oh, l, uh, found this one
wandering about outside.
1:22:31
NATHAN: Wouldn't let me in.
1:22:32
GAZ: What the bloody hell
are you doing here?
1:22:34
your mum'll go mad.
1:22:35
NATHAN: She's out front.
1:22:37
GAZ: ls she?
1:22:38
Barry with her?
1:22:40
NATHAN:
She wouldn't let him come.
1:22:41
Said it were women only.
1:22:43
Lads, I can't hold them
any longer.
1:22:44
It's now or never.
1:22:47
DAVE: Here we go.
We're bloody on.
1:22:50
Go get your jacket on.
1:22:54
LOMPER: Can't we leave
us G-strings on, then, Gaz?
1:22:57
GAZ: Perhaps you better had.
1:22:59
HORSE: No, we better hadn't.
1:23:01
DAVE:
Listen, if we're doing this...
1:23:03
then just this once,
we're doing it right.
1:23:07
Now come on.
1:23:10
ALAN: All right, come on.
Put your hands together...
1:23:12
and welcome
Mr. Dave Horsefall.
1:23:16
[Women screaming]
1:23:24
DAVE: OK, ladies and gents...
1:23:26
MAN: Get off, chubby!
1:23:27
DAVE: And you buggers
up the back there.
1:23:29
MAN: Get on with it!
1:23:30
All right.
yeah, we may not be young...
1:23:32
we may not be pretty,
we may not be right good...
1:23:35
but we're here...
1:23:37
we're live,
and for one night only...
1:23:39
we're going
for the full monty!
1:23:41
[Cheering]
1:23:44
NATHAN: you can't miss it.
Not after everything.
1:23:47
GERALD: Come on, Gaz. Hurry up.
1:23:49
GAZ: I'm sorry, lads.
1:23:53
Good luck, eh?
1:23:59
[Music begins playing]