:13:00
James Mertin, an I rish ship captain,
came to this town...
:13:04
and decided to erect
an office building.
:13:06
He called this building the
Mertin Flemmer Building after himself...
:13:10
and someone else, who local legend
has it was named Flemmer.
:13:13
Well, one day, old Captain Mertin
received an unexpected visitor.
:13:17
- Captain Mertin?
- Aye. What want ye, girl child?
:13:21
I'm not a child, but rather
an adult lady of miniature proportions.
:13:25
I see. Well, if it's
charity you're after...
:13:28
be gone with ye,
you foul demon!
:13:31
I'm not asking for alms...
:13:33
but, rather, the ear of a kind man
with a noble heart.
:13:36
[Captain]
Well, speak then, if you must.
:13:39
Captain Mertin, I'm afraid hat
the world was not built with me in mind.
:13:43
Doorknobs are too high,
chairs are unwieldy...
:13:46
and high-ceilinged rooms
mock my stature.
:13:49
Why cannot there be a place for me
to work that's safe and comfortable?
:13:53
[Captain]
Thy story has moved me like no other.
:13:57
Therefore, I shall make ye--
[ Groans ] me wife.
:14:00
And-- And I shall build
a floor for ye...
:14:03
between the seventh and the eighth
in me own building...
:14:07
so at least there'll be one place
on God's green earth...
:14:11
where ye and your accursed kind
can live in peace.
:14:16
So that's the story
of even and a half.
:14:19
Since the rents are considerably lower,
this floor has been adopted...
:14:22
by businesses which,
for one reason or another,
have been forced to cut corners.
:14:26
After all, the overhead is low.
:14:29
[ Both Laughing ]
:14:31
(m)[Theme Music]
:14:36
[Music Stops]
:14:38
Moving story, huh?
:14:43
Unfortunately, the story's bullshit.
:14:49
Listen, I'm Craig Schwartz.
I'm just starting out at Lestercorp.
:14:52
Where are you starting out?
:14:55
[ Sighs ]
:14:59
[Orrin Hatch]
Shut up! Shut up!