1:04:03
Ohh!
1:04:04
- What?
- How's Elaine?
1:04:07
You know, your wife.
1:04:11
Bastard!
1:04:13
This wasn't about
some black book.
1:04:15
Your wife was a customer
of Antoine's, wasn't she?
1:04:17
That son of a bitch is goin' down.
And you're gonna join him!
1:04:23
How's that gonna fix
your marriage?
1:04:28
Look, I lost someone
that I love too.
1:04:34
You know why
she did this?
1:04:36
You wanna know why
she went outside our marriage?
1:04:39
It's because
of my dick, man.
1:04:41
I mean, that's the reason.
It's my dick.
1:04:44
Take it easy.
1:04:47
You're saying your wife cheated on you
because your penis is too small?
1:04:50
It's not too small. It's too thin,
okay? My dick is too thin.
1:04:55
- I've got a thin dick!
- Can you keep it down?
1:04:59
- I'd like to come back here someday.
- Everybody knows...
1:05:01
that it's width, width that
gives sexual gratification.
1:05:04
I've read it.
Cosmo, Redbook, you name it.
1:05:07
What am I supposed to do? I've got
the thinnest penis in the world! Here.
1:05:11
- It's like a Twizzler. Look!
- No, no, stop that.
1:05:14
Sit down!
Sit!
1:05:18
It's not your dick.
It's you.
1:05:21
I'm telling you now,
if you painted it silver...
1:05:23
and twisted it on the end,
it'd look like a kickstand.
1:05:27
If man-whoring
has taught me anything,
1:05:29
it's that most women are as unhappy
with their entire body...
1:05:32
as you are
with your small penis.
1:05:34
- Thin penis.
- Whatever.
1:05:37
- While you're worried about your penis,
- Thin penis.
1:05:40
women are worried
about their height,
1:05:42
their weight,
their giant feet,
1:05:45
the stream of obscenities that could
burst through their mouth at any second.
1:05:48
If you make a woman
feel good about herself,
1:05:51
it really doesn't matter
what's wrong with you.
1:05:56
Even if it's
really, really thin?
1:05:58
We're talkin'
spaghetti stick.