:08:01
"Cardinal Glick Cuts Ribbon On
Catholicism Wow! Campaign."
:08:06
And?
:08:09
You have to keep reading.
:08:12
"The rededication of
St. MichaeI's Church..."
:08:15
...is the kick off of a new campaign
which seeks to bring...
:08:18
Catholicism into the mainstream.
:08:20
With a papal sanction,
the arch way entrance...
:08:23
of the century-old Jersey shore
house of worship...
:08:26
will serve as a passage way
of plenary indulgence--
:08:29
a little-known Catholic belief offering
all that passes throug hits arches...
:08:33
a morally cleans late.
:08:36
For Sunday News Brief,
I'm Grant Hicks.
:08:39
All I gotta do, I walk through the arch
thing, and then I can go back home?
:08:44
No. By walking through the archway,
all your sins are forgiven.
:08:48
- Then all we have to do is die.
- Die? I don't wanna die.
:08:51
- You rather hang around here?
- No. We don't know if we can die.
:08:56
But what if we can and then
the arch thing doesn't work?
:09:00
What then, Hell?
Fuck that.
:09:02
It's impossible.
If we cut off our wings...
:09:04
and transubstantiate to complete
human form, we become mortal.
:09:09
If we die with clean souls,
there's no way they can keep us out.
:09:12
We won't be angels anymore,
but at least we get to go home.
:09:15
- Who sent the paper?
- Who cares who sent the paper?
:09:20
All that matters is that after
all these years, we found a loop hole.
:09:23
He can't keep us out anymore.
:09:26
Once we're back in,
it'll be forgive and forget.
:09:28
But this thing,
this is Church law.
:09:31
It's not Divine Mandate.
:09:33
Church laws are fallible
because they're created by man.
:09:37
One of the last sacred promises
imparted to Peter, the first pope...
:09:42
by the Son of God
before He left was...
:09:46
- "Whatever you hold true on Earth--"
- "I'll hold true in Heaven."
:09:50
It's dogmatic law. If the Church
says it's so, God must adhere.
:09:54
This thing has a papal sanction--
:09:56
Let it never be said your
anal retentive attention to detail...
:09:59
never yielded positive results.