:03:02
And in my case, very mysterious.
:03:05
Anyway, this is my story,
:03:07
and you should pay attention
'cause it's starting right now.
:03:26
[ Coughing ]
:03:30
- Are you all right ?
- Yeah, I'm fine. [ Coughing ]
:03:34
Your birthmark looks like shit.
:03:38
- So, you're okay?
- Yeah.
:03:41
Lifeguard!
:03:44
Aah !
:03:47
I grew up in a little town
called Besamee Heights.
:03:51
It's this really friendly place
where everyone likes to say "hi."
:03:55
[Man]
Hi there.
:03:57
[Mary] I grew up in what people
called the ugliest house...
:03:59
with the ugliest lawn
and the ugliest dog.
:04:02
[ Growls ]
:04:04
[ Squealing ]
:04:06
My mom and dad died in this horrible
accident when I was a baby,
:04:09
so my grandmother took care of me.
:04:11
And my grandmother
was in an accident too.
:04:13
Actually, most of my family
had gotten hurt at some point.
:04:16
- We're sort of accident-prone.
- [ Groans ]
:04:20
I'm off.
:04:22
Now, my grandmother used to
always say that when I grow up,
:04:25
I should become a business woman.
:04:27
But I didn't really
think about business,
:04:30
mostly because I couldn't stop
thinking about the one thing...
:04:33
that I wanted more
than anything in the world.
:04:36
A kiss. A big Hollywood
fireworks type of kiss.
:04:41
So each night before I went to bed,
I would pray for God to help me.
:04:46
And please, God,
send me someone to make out with...
:04:50
and tongue kiss like this.
:04:52
[ Slurping ]
:04:56
Then one day
while me and my grandmother...
:04:59
were watching some old movie,
it hit me.