The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human
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:12:00
Hi. This is Bill Waterson.
:12:02
Oh, yes, Mr. Greenwood.
:12:05
Well, we'd love
to help you, but...

:12:07
gosh, I tell you,
we're really booked solid.

:12:10
Let me see if there's
any openings here.

:12:13
Boy, we're just...
we're just swamped here.

:12:17
Oh! Here's a cancellation at...
:12:21
How's Thursday at 3:00?
:12:24
Or now.
Yeah. We could do now.

:12:28
Now is fine. Yeah, great.
We'll see you.

:12:31
- We got a client?
- Looks that way.

:12:34
- Torrance referred us.
- Torrance is a deadbeat.

:12:36
Yeah, but he's our deadbeat.
We got three clients.

:12:38
- I think we ought to embrace him.
- All right.

:12:43
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.

:12:48
- You're going to call her, aren't you?
:12:50
- Tell the truth.
- Okay. You're developing...

:12:53
a serious body odor problem,
but I don't think that's relevant.

:12:58
You just met her last night. If you
call her now, you'll scare her off.

:13:00
- Come on. I don't play those games.
- Don't do it, man.

:13:04
- She'll think you want her.
- I do want her.

:13:06
I know, but if she thinks that,
she'll find somebody else.

:13:10
Someone who doesn't want her?
:13:12
- Someone cool.
- Oh, but I'm not cool.

:13:15
Exactly. That's why you got to wait
a few days before you call her.

:13:17
And when you do ask her out, act like
you're doing her a favor, you know?

:13:21
Like you don't give a damn
if she says yes or no...

:13:23
'cause you got all these other
chickadees waiting for you.

:13:25
- And that'll impress her?
- Right into the sack.

:13:30
Please do not adjust
your universal translator.

:13:32
We are not experiencing
technical difficulties.

:13:35
This is a human thing.
It makes no sense to us either.

:13:40
Heed my words, Grasshopper.
:13:43
Be patient.
Be a champion.

:13:45
You know, Jimmy,
it occurs to me...

:13:47
that I haven't seen you with a woman
in about three years.

:13:50
Right. That's because I always
phone them the very next morning.


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