1:13:10
Due to reasons
beyond their control...
1:13:12
...two of the actresses
who triumph daily on this stage...
1:13:16
...cannot be here tonight--
the poor things.
1:13:19
So the show
has been cancelled.
1:13:23
Those who wish
can get their money back...
1:13:25
...but for those who have
nothing better to do...
1:13:28
...it's a shame to waste the rare occasion
that you make it to the theater.
1:13:31
If you stay...
1:13:33
...I promise to entertain you
with my lifestory.
1:13:38
Good-bye. I'm very sorry.
1:13:40
If I bore you, you can pretend
to snore-- like this.
1:13:44
I'll get the idea, and you certainly
won't hurt my feelings.
1:13:48
Honestly.
1:13:52
They call me "La Agrado"...
1:13:53
...because I've always tried
to make people's lives agreeable.
1:13:59
As well as being agreeable,
I'm very authentic!
1:14:03
Look at this body!
1:14:06
All made to measure.
1:14:09
Almond-shaped eyes-- 80,000.
1:14:13
Nose-- 200,000.
1:14:15
A waste of money. Another beating
the following year left it like this.
1:14:19
It gives me character,
but if I'd known...
1:14:21
...I wouldn't have touched it.
1:14:23
I'll continue.
1:14:24
Tits-- two,
because I'm no monster.
1:14:28
70,000 each,
but I've more than earned that back.
1:14:32
Silicone in--
1:14:33
Where?
1:14:34
Lips, forehead, cheeks...
1:14:37
...hips and ass.
1:14:38
A pint costs about 100,000...
1:14:40
...so you work it out,
because I've lost count.
1:14:43
Jaw reduction-- 75,000.
1:14:45
Complete laser depilation...
1:14:46
...because women, like men,
also come from apes.
1:14:49
60,000 a session.
1:14:50
It depends how hairy you are.
Usually, two to four sessions.
1:14:55
But if you're a flamenco diva,
you'll need more.