1:04:01
All right.
Let's get away from this music.
1:04:04
- Okay.
- Here. Have a seat
on the steps over there.
1:04:11
- Set yourself down.
- Okay.
1:04:14
[Sighs]
1:04:16
Now, I wouldn't blame you if you wanted
to kill me, but it's been eatin' at me.
1:04:19
The truth, that is.
1:04:21
See, I've been workin' on myself
a little bit at a time.
1:04:25
Well, I been seein' a therapist and
eatin' fresh fruits and raw vegetables...
1:04:29
and all kinds of things,
and it ain't helped me none...
1:04:32
other than the fact that I'm regular
and I don't eat as many antacid tablets.
1:04:36
Anyhow, when I was talkin'
to your uncle on the hot line...
1:04:39
See, I was drinkin', which I've quit,
other than smokin' reefer...
1:04:42
which I do every now and then
with my next-door neighbor,
who's eat up with glaucoma.
1:04:47
Anyhow, I was just bitchin'
and complainin' and moanin'...
1:04:51
and just blamin' everybody
for everything, and he was
just so nice to me...
1:04:55
that l...
well, I just kept it up.
1:04:57
And we became friends.
And I'm always shitty to my friends,
especially the nice ones.
1:05:01
- You know how that is. Anyhow...
- Mm-hmm.
1:05:04
Oh, I guess I was just
bein' terrible to him.
1:05:07
I mean, to the point where I was
just huntin' him down just
to tell him how much I hated him...
1:05:10
for not making my life right.
1:05:12
Anyhow... Well, I guess he became
some disgruntled office worker...
1:05:16
'cause he comes over to the house
and starts screamin' and yellin'...
1:05:19
and just spillin' his guts
about how much I'm ruinin' his life...
1:05:23
and how much I remind him
of his family.
1:05:26
And that's when I told him
to kiss my ass. Well, see,
I shouldn't have done that.
1:05:29
'Cause then he comes into the house.
And he's angry. And he starts screamin'...
1:05:32
and throwin' things around,
and I tried to stop him before
he got into my shoe closet.
1:05:36
You see, I'm a shoe nut.
And then he throws me off of him.
I go flyin' through the air...
1:05:41
and I hit my head
against that big old doorstop...
1:05:43
which they would've found out
ain't made out of iron anyhow
once we got into the courtroom.
1:05:47
Then my neighbor, the witness...
Well, he was high on pot and
all eat up with that glaucoma.
1:05:53
So I had him say
that he saw Hazel hit me.
1:05:58
Anyhow,
Hazel can't stand y'all.