:29:05
As my head cleared, I realized
I needed a different approach.
:29:09
Then I got a brainstorm:
Hire an Indian tracker to help me.
:29:12
Great idea.
They could find anything.
:29:15
It's like in the movies.
So I headed for a reservation.
:29:25
You want me to put my ear to the
ground, listen for hoof beats...
:29:29
...check for footprints...
:29:31
...look for broken twigs?
:29:34
But this is the modern age.
That stuff doesn't work anymore.
:29:38
Which is why I had to open
this fireworks stand.
:29:42
I wasn't getting by
on my tracking wages.
:29:45
Come on. You're supposed to be
good at tracking stuff, man.
:29:49
I gotta find my parents.
:29:51
I need a way to sell more fireworks.
I'm going broke with this venture also.
:29:56
I see you got snakes and sparklers,
but where's the good stuff, man?
:30:01
Good stuff. This is the
good stuff. Snakes and sparklers.
:30:05
Are you nuts, dude? You need
stuff that explodes, go boom.
:30:08
- Why is that good?
- Well...
:30:11
Well, you might as well
ask why is the tree good?
:30:15
Why is the sunset good?
Why are boobs good?
:30:19
Firecrackers. You stick them
in mailboxes, drop them in toilets...
:30:23
...shove them up a bullfrog's ass.
:30:25
I'd never do that because
I'm going to be a veterinarian.
:30:28
There you go.
:30:30
Someone shoves an M-80 up a bullfrog's
butt, blows him to pieces...
:30:34
...he comes back to you to fix it.
You win twice, brother. It's good biz.
:30:39
You're saying you have no black cats,
Roman candles or screaming meemies?
:30:44
Come on. You don't got no ladyfingers,
buzz bottles, snicker bombs...
:30:48
...church burners, finger blasters, gut
busters, zippedy-doodas, crap flappers?
:30:52
No, I don't.
:30:53
You're gonna stand there,
owning a fireworks stand...
:30:57
...and say you have
no whistling bungholes...