:11:02
I'll be 40 in six months. What oppurtunity
have I had to introduce myself to you,
:11:08
...as I am
rather than as others want want me to be?
:11:11
It's been a long time that
I've wanted to give you this notebook.
:11:18
...but I never found it necessary.
:11:22
Until you told me about the woman in Shiraz
who is now awaiting your decision.
:11:29
I should have talked to you.
:11:30
I should have told you many things
about my real self.
:11:34
Maybe telling you will help this woman
who is awaiting her death.
:11:38
Maybe her death would be
the result of a wrong decision.
:11:41
I know I'm taking a risk by recounting
these memories, but dear, in my age...
:11:48
...one has the right to be herself and
I will willingly pay the price.
:11:58
I don't have any enjoyable memory
of my childhood.
:12:02
...everything was sorrow & regret.
:12:05
To be the fifth child
of a poor family of thirteen...
:12:08
...was enough to kill any potential in me.
:12:12
Contrary to a child's nature, I learned
how to look good and save face in public.
:12:17
My real life started in 1978
after the islamic revolution...
:12:20
...when I passed the entrance exam
to the university.
:12:23
With the help of one of my mother's
distant relatives I went to Tehran.
:12:29
They took me in and gave me a room
and in return I did odd jobs for them.
:12:36
It was during the revolution and
the excitement of the revolution
:12:39
Most of the university classes
were in disarray.
:12:43
In my social class,
I was a member of a communist group...
:12:46
...whose effect was on the oppressed.
:12:49
Our small group composed
the research branch...
:12:53
...and our meetings were held in a small cafe
near the university.
:12:58
We sat in a café...