:03:01
- Why? - Answer the
question. Open or closed?
:03:04
It was open, I think.
:03:06
Would it have made a
difference if it were shut?
:03:08
Would that have made the act of a
nonfat woman eating ice cream...
:03:11
a little less revolting to you?
:03:13
What if she'd not had dinner?
What if she were legitimately hungry...
:03:17
before she shoved her face
into a trough of Haagen-Dazs?
:03:20
Would it have repulsed you less
if she used a dish?
:03:22
- Good night, you psycho!
- Good night, neophiliac!
:03:30
- Are you sitting down?
:03:32
Oprah read the article
on her show today.
:03:35
The audience went so crazy for it,
she called us personally,
:03:37
begging for Dr. Charles
to appear as her guest.
:03:39
- What?
- I told everyone in P.R. A different story.
:03:43
She's vacationing in Hong Kong.
She's at a conference in Tangiers.
:03:46
- Oh, this is bad.
- No, no, no. This is all good.
:03:49
Okay? Trust me.
I've got it all under control.
:03:52
This won't come
anywhere near you.
:03:54
"And so, while the male
may often seem shy...
:03:57
"with all his Uriah Heep hand-wringin'
and 'aw, shucks' toe-kickin',
:04:02
"he's actually a narcissist...
:04:04
"because this apparent shyness belies
the more deeply rooted feelings...
:04:10
"of unworthiness
and fear of rejection.
:04:13
"And this is what compels him
to constantly seek attention...
:04:17
from new cow after new cow
ad nauseam, ad infinitum. "
:04:23
This is such great stuff.
:04:25
It obliterates any sentimentality
we might have...
:04:28
about what
noble creatures men are.
:04:31
This right here is what we've been
looking for. It's-It's provocative.
:04:34
It's clever. It's got mass
appeal written all over it.
:04:37
There's just one problem. Nobody
can seem to find this woman.
:04:40
The Today Show's tried.
Oprah's tried.
:04:42
- Yeah, and have you tried?
- Eddie?
:04:44
- Uh, well, no.
- Well, get on it!
:04:48
Do you realize what
we're talking about here?
:04:51
- The ungettable get?
- Yes!
:04:54
I don't care what it takes.
You find that Dr. Marie Charles...
:04:58
and bring her here
to my studio.