:56:04
He speaks into his hand-held
tape recorder, and he says:
:56:10
"Charlie Kaufman, fat, bald,
repulsive, old...
:56:12
...sits at a Hollywood restaurant
with Valerie Thomas."
:56:15
Kaufman, repugnant, ridiculous...
:56:16
...jerks off to the book jacket photo
of Susan Or...
:56:19
What do you want?
:56:21
I've finished my script.
:56:23
I'm done.
:56:27
So would you show it to your agent?
:56:30
It's called The Three.
:56:37
Thanks. I also want to
thank you for your idea.
:56:39
It was very helpful.
I changed it a little.
:56:41
Now the killer cuts off body pieces
and makes his victims eat them.
:56:45
Caroline has this great tattoo of a snake
swallowing its own tail, and...
:56:48
- Ourobouros.
- I don't know what that means.
:56:51
The snake. It's called Ourobouros.
:56:54
I don't think so. But it's cool for my
killer to have this modus operandi...
:56:57
...because when he forces the woman
who's really him to eat herself...
:57:00
...he's also eating himself to death.
:57:02
I'm insane.
:57:03
- I'm Ourobouros.
- I don't know what that word means.
:57:06
- I've written myself into my screenplay.
- That's kind of weird, huh?
:57:10
It's self-indulgent. It's narcissistic.
:57:13
It's solipsistic. It's pathetic.
:57:15
I'm pathetic.
I'm fat and pathetic.
:57:17
I'm sure you had good reasons, Charles.
You're an artist.
:57:21
It's because I'm too timid to speak to
the woman who wrote the book.
:57:24
Because I'm pathetic.
:57:26
Because I have no idea how to write.
Because I can't make flowers fascinating.
:57:31
Because I suck.
:57:32
- Hey, am I in the script?
- I'm going to New York.
:57:36
I'll meet her. That's it.
That's what I have to do.
:57:39
Don't get mad at me for saying this...
:57:41
...but Bob's having a seminar
in New York this weekend.
:57:43
So if you're stuck...
:57:45
And she said,
"Laroche is such a fun character."
:57:46
And she said,
"Laroche is such a fun character."
:57:49
No shit, I'm a fun character.
:57:52
Who's gonna play me?
:57:53
Well, I've gotta write
the book first, John.
:57:55
Then, you know, they get somebody
to write the screenplay.
:57:58
Hey, I think I should play me.