:56:03
He speaks into his hand-held
tape recorder, and he says:
:56:09
'' Charlie Kaufman, fat, bald,
repulsive, old...
:56:11
...sits at a Hollywood restaurant
with Valerie Thomas.''
:56:14
Kaufman, repugnant, ridiculous...
:56:15
...jerks off to the book jack et photo
of Susan Or--
:56:18
What do you want?
:56:20
l've finished my script.
:56:22
l'm done.
:56:26
So would you show it to your agent?
:56:29
lt's called The Three.
:56:36
Thanks. l also want to
thank you for your idea.
:56:38
lt was very helpful.
l changed it a little.
:56:40
Now the killer cuts off body pieces
and makes his victims eat them.
:56:44
Caroline has this great tattoo of a snake
swallowing its own tail, and--
:56:47
-Ourobouros.
-l don't know what that means.
:56:50
The snake. lt's called Ourobouros.
:56:53
l don't think so. But it's cool for my
killer to have this modus operandi...
:56:56
...because when he forces the woman
who's really him to eat herself...
:56:59
...he's also eating himself to death.
:57:01
l'm insane.
:57:02
-l'm Ourobouros.
-l don't know what that word means.
:57:05
-l've written myself into my screenplay.
-That's kind of weird, huh?
:57:09
lt's self-indulgent. lt's narcissistic.
:57:12
lt's solipsistic. lt's pathetic.
:57:14
l'm pathetic.
l'm fat and pathetic.
:57:17
l'm sure you had good reasons, Charles.
You're an artist.
:57:20
lt's because l'm too timid to speak to
the woman who wrote the book.
:57:23
Because l'm pathetic.
:57:25
Because l have no idea how to write.
Because l can't make flowers fascinating.
:57:30
Because l suck.
:57:31
-Hey, am l in the script?
-l'm going to New York.
:57:35
l'll meet her. That's it.
That's what l have to do.
:57:38
Don't get mad at me for saying this...
:57:40
...but Bob's having a seminar
in New York this weekend.
:57:42
So if you're stuck....
:57:45
And she said,
'' Laroche is such a fun character.''
:57:48
No shit, l'm a fun character.
:57:51
Who's gonna play me?
:57:52
Well, l've gotta write
the book first, John.
:57:54
Then, you know, they get somebody
to write the screenplay.
:57:57
Hey, l think l should play me.