:02:00
The feeling of this ad is
somebody's going to get laid.
:02:03
It's perfect.
I gave you the perfect concept.
:02:06
And you give me ugly?!
:02:07
All right, all right,
Bruce, I'll try --
:02:09
No, no. Don't tell me "try. "
I hate the word "try. "
:02:11
"Try" is for losers.
:02:13
Listen to me, you are not the
only ad agency in this town!
:02:15
Eliot: A year ago,
I had a nice house,
:02:18
a beautiful wife,
and a job I really loved.
:02:20
Now I was being called a loser
by this guy.
:02:23
For 18 years, I wrote a column
for The Miami Herald --
:02:27
funny stories the higher-ups
referred to as "offbeat."
:02:31
Deeber wants
to see you.
:02:34
Eliot: Because I'd won
two Pulitzer Prizes for
my offbeat stories,
:02:38
I was pretty much left alone
:02:40
and treated with a great deal
of respect...
:02:43
until Ken Deeber came.
:02:44
[ Knocking ]
:02:46
-- [ Sniffs ]
-- Eliot...
:02:48
John Croton tells me
you still haven't
turned anything in
:02:49
on the day-care crisis.
:02:51
Yeah, Ken, listen,
I figure with five people
:02:53
already working
on the day-care crisis story,
:02:55
our readers pretty much
know there's a crisis
in day care.
:02:57
-- Eliot, you were given
an assignment.
-- I know that.
:03:00
The pelican story?
:03:01
Right.
No one else has it.
:03:03
This old Cuban guy
is training pelicans --
:03:05
To drop bombs --
the most asinine thing
I ever heard.
:03:07
Come on.
He tried to kill Castro
with a bird!
:03:09
Eliot,
I gave you an assignment,
and you will do it.
:03:11
Or what, Ken?
:03:13
Well, if you want
to continue working
at this newspaper,
:03:17
you will put something
in here before you go home.
:03:20
Why don't I put something
in there right now?
:03:22
Eliot: Deeber picked
the wrong day to be a jerk.
:03:26
Earlier that day,
I had found out
:03:28
my wife was having an affair
with her tennis instructor.
:03:32
In retrospect,
:03:34
I should have written
the day-care crisis piece
:03:36
and never opened
Eliot Arnold Advertising.
:03:39
And if you think I'm gonna pay
for this stupid shit,
:03:40
you can forget it!
:03:42
I'm not paying for ugly!
I can get ugly for free!
:03:45
It goes without saying,
Bruce.
:03:50
[ Clears throat ]
Eliot.
:03:52
Dad, I need to borrow
the Geo tonight.
:03:54
Hello, Nigel.
How's London?
:03:55
Nigel?
:03:56
Foggy.
:03:58
Ah, could you hold on, Nigel,
just for a moment?