:43:02
I've invested such a sum...
:43:05
and I am waiting...
:43:09
for news of it.
:43:13
But he could not know that.
:43:21
If he is right that you have lost the money...
:43:25
and the money that Bray owed you,
you shall not have my money now.
:43:30
He is...
:43:35
not right.
:43:39
My life collapsed like a house of sticks
the day my father died.
:43:44
I clung to my mother and sister,
then Smike and Noggs...
:43:49
hoping, waiting for I knew not what.
:43:52
I knew not what,
until that day when I opened my eyes...
:43:56
and the darkness
was replaced with the sight of your face.
:43:59
It was the island towards which
I'd been sailing, unguided, my whole life...
:44:03
the dream my father had promised me
before I could even imagine its existence.
:44:10
I have been happy for times,
little times, since he died...
:44:15
but never at peace.
:44:18
Not until I looked at your face...
:44:21
and saw the universe in order behind it.
:44:24
Nicholas...
:44:27
I feel you know what it's like
to be without happiness...
:44:33
but do you know what it's like
to be afraid of it?
:44:36
To see the world...
:44:38
as so conniving, you cannot take pleasure
in the appearance of something good...
:44:44
because you suspect...
:44:48
it is only a painted drop
behind which other troubles lie.
:44:53
That has been my life.
:44:56
Every good thing has been a trick.