The Rules of Attraction
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:03:03
And she was looking back at him
with confidence, because she knew

:03:06
that underneath her clothes
she was wearing a black bra

:03:10
with matching black lace panties,
which I wasn't.

:03:13
Um, I'm sorry,
what was I talking about?

:03:17
Woman:
But I had the next best thing.

:03:19
I've got a joint
in my room.

:03:25
Except it wasn't my room.
It was Lorna Slavin's room,

:03:29
who was off-campus
at her boyfriend's house,

:03:31
probably swallowing
his DNA.

:03:34
And I didn't have
a joint either,

:03:36
and if I did,
I didn't know where it was,

:03:38
because it would have been
Lorna Slavin's joint.

:03:42
He wouldn't have cared
if I had one or not.

:03:52
I must have passed out
around then.

:03:55
When I came to,
he was already fucking me,

:03:57
but he didn't know that I was
a virgin and that it hurt.

:04:00
Not that badly-- only
a little bit of sharp pain,

:04:03
but not as bad as I had been
taught to expect--

:04:05
but not exactly
pleasant, either.

:04:08
That's when I heard
another voice in the room.

:04:13
Now, I want you to do her
like Ron Jeremy would.

:04:15
Woman: I remember
the weight on the bed shifting,

:04:18
and realizing
that this person behind me

:04:20
wasn't the NYU film student guy,
but somebody else.

:04:24
Oh, my God,
it was some townie.

:04:28
I had actually
lost my virginity to a townie.

:04:31
[ boy grunting ]
:04:33
This wouldn't
have happened with Victor.

:04:35
He would have taken me gently
in his big, strong Drama major arms,

:04:40
and undressed me
quietly and expertly,

:04:43
taken my bra off
with grace and ease.

:04:47
And it probably wouldn't
have hurt.

:04:49
I should have given myself to Victor
last term when I had the chance.

:04:54
[ door bangs ]
:04:59
Dude, we had to put
the keg somewhere.


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