Bad Santa
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:02:05
Come to think of it,
I still might.

:02:10
Where I come from,
we didn't celebrate Christmas.

:02:12
Not because we were Jewish,
but because my dad

:02:15
was a worthless-coward fucking
asshole whose idea of a present

:02:18
was a daily punch
to the back of the head.

:02:20
He did teach me
how to crack a safe, though.

:02:24
My dad never did shit with his
life, so he took it out on me.

:02:28
You could say I'm no different.
I'd have to say you were right.

:02:31
But at this point,
it's too late to start over.

:02:34
Funny how things work out.
:02:36
It's fucking hilarious.
:02:59
There's Santa Claus.
Look there.

:03:06
Wow.
:03:12
Oh, my.
What a darling photo.

:03:15
Are you certain you only want
the single?

:03:17
Additional photos come in handy
as gifts for Grandma and Grandpa

:03:20
or as a wonderful remembrance
for friends.

:03:22
Gee.
You know what?

:03:23
This one, I think it's more
than enough.

:03:25
Thanks.
Merry Christmas.

:03:29
So, what do you want,
little girl?

:03:31
A drum set.
:03:33
Oh, the old man will love that.
:03:35
Okay. Fine.
See you later.

:03:46
I saw you at another mall.
:03:48
Well, I'm very happy for you.
:03:50
You're not really Santa.
:03:52
If you were Santa,
you could do magic.

:03:54
You want to see some magic?
:03:57
Here.
Let's watch you disappear.


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