:19:01
Can you believe that?
:19:04
But I love women.
:19:05
I used to date this one girl
had one boob bigger than the other.
:19:10
And she got in a wet T-shirt contest and
took first and third place at that contest.
:19:17
Bless her heart. I was so proud
of my sister, bless her heart.
:19:25
I used to date this one girl looked
like Michelle Pfeiffer, only shorter...
:19:29
...and the face was different.
:19:33
I was drinking,
it looked like Michelle Pfeiffer.
:19:36
Next morning, Barney Pfeiffer's lying
in the bed next to me.
:19:40
She was ugly.
:19:41
I had one girl had a beauty mark
on her cheek.
:19:43
That was sexy, like Cindy Crawford.
:19:45
We get to kissing, and I was looking at it.
It was a tick!
:19:49
I know. I disappeared like a set of rims
at a Puff Daddy concert.
:19:54
I'll tell you what, I was out the door.
:19:57
Out the door.
:20:01
So I went shopping around today.
Went to the mall.
:20:04
You ever seen this PETsMART?
:20:08
The critter store? You been in there?
:20:10
You know what they got in there?
A dog water-purifying machine.
:20:14
You believe that? $75.
Dog water-purifying machine.
:20:21
I'm like, "What's that thing do? " She says,
"lt purifies your dog's drinking water."
:20:26
"He just ate a turd 1 0 minutes ago.
:20:29
You got any turd-purifying machines
in here, for Pete's sake? "
:20:33
What in the world? That's like wiping
before you poop. It don't make sense.
:20:38
Doesn't make any sense at all.
:20:42
Pete's sake.
:20:46
Then I went in there--
I went in there to Victoria's Secret.
:20:49
You ever been in there?
:20:53
Get her done. That's right. That's like
a grown-feller Chuck E. Cheese in there.
:20:58
I like that joint. I was there the other day.
I was sniffing around a couple hours...