Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie
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:24:00
Tell you straight up.
:24:03
A lot of people don't know it, but I used
to be a real psychic at fairs and stuff.

:24:07
You know what I can do?
I was at the fair.

:24:09
I used to be able to grab on
to girls' boobs, seriously...

:24:14
...and tell how old they was
by doing that.

:24:17
I used to be at the fair.
I had a little stool right there set up...

:24:20
...had some key chains on it.
:24:22
I'd tell them, "l can tell how old you are
by rubbing on your boobies."

:24:26
So I'd be like, "Hold on."
:24:40
I'm like, "You're 33 years old."
:24:43
She's like, "You ain't even close."
I'm like, "Here's a key chain."

:24:48
Get her done. That's right.
:24:52
That's right.
:24:55
I seen a girl walking around the other day
with earrings all over the place.

:24:59
I was with a girl one time that
had nine earrings in this ear...

:25:02
...seven earrings in that ear,
a ring in her nose, bolt in her tongue.

:25:07
It was like making love to her
and working on my truck at the same time.

:25:11
I didn't know if I should kiss her
or adjust the torque in her butt crack.

:25:17
And my sister got one of them.
My sister's a big old girl.

:25:21
I had to hire a rodeo clown to distract her
when I brung home the groceries last week.

:25:28
But she got a belly ring. You believe that?
:25:30
You don't get a belly ring if you're big.
You get onion rings.

:25:36
I don't care who you are.
That's funny, right there. That's right.

:25:40
I didn't know what it was. She walks in,
"What do you think of that? "

:25:43
I'm like, "Hey, you got a hitch.
:25:46
Yeah, now we can pull you away
from the buffet every night.

:25:51
It's about time you done something,
for Pete's sake."

:25:55
That's right.
:25:57
I was watching the TV the other day.
People suing everybody nowadays.


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