:42:04
You see that little girl there?
That's my only little girl. She's my life.
:42:10
So if you have any thoughts
about hugging...
:42:14
...or kissing,
you remember these words:
:42:18
I got no problem going back to prison.'"
:42:33
God bless my wife. That's what
she puts up with every day of the year.
:42:37
On our 20th anniversary,
I got to thinking about the difference...
:42:40
...between that first year of marriage
and that 20th year. Wow.
:42:44
Remember that first year? You'd pick a fight
just so you could make up and have sex.
:42:49
Twenty years later, you pick a fight
just so they'll sleep in the other room.
:42:58
That first year, you'd come home
from a bad day at work. You go:
:43:01
" I've had a bad day."
Your new bride would go:
:43:04
"Let me get you a beer
and you tell me all about it."
:43:07
Twenty years later, you walk in the door,
"What a day at work!"
:43:10
They go, "You want to hear
what went on at this house today?!
:43:13
While you were at your job? "
:43:20
That first year of marriage,
if you had to go to the bathroom...
:43:23
...you shut the door, lock it,
turn the faucets on, turn the shower on.
:43:27
God forbid they knew you
were going poop.
:43:30
Twenty years later,
bathroom door is wide open...
:43:33
...and you're screaming,
"Bring the camera!"
:43:39
That first year, your new bride was gonna
do laundry and you freaked out...
:43:43
...because you might have had
dirty underwear. So you threw them away.
:43:46
Twenty years later,
you're just hoping to gross them out.
:43:50
If you can get your wife to scream,
"Oh, my God!
:43:54
Did you hit a deer? "