1:04:00
I was doing a thing not long ago
for HBO...
1:04:02
...and they were asking
serious questions.
1:04:05
One of them was,
"What's your earliest recollection in life? "
1:04:08
I said, "l remember being 3, standing on
the front seat of the car with my dad.
1:04:13
Every time he would turn the corner,
I would make the sound of tires squealing.
1:04:20
My dad would go,
'Quit squealing my tires.'"
1:04:22
All of a sudden, it dawned on me. What was
I doing standing on the front seat of the car?
1:04:29
Back then, kids weren't too good to go
through the windshield with the rest of us.
1:04:34
When my kids were 3,
I couldn't back out of the driveway...
1:04:37
...unless they were in a car seat
with a shoulder strap and a safety fit.
1:04:41
Think back. I can vividly recall
riding all the way to Florida...
1:04:45
...Iaying in the back window of the car.
1:04:52
People behind us going, "Harold,
is that one of those bobbing dogs? "
1:04:56
"No. That's a skinny kid with a big head.
Boy, what a big head."
1:05:00
My dad slammed on the brakes, you went
bouncing around the car like a pinball game.
1:05:08
I remember as a child, my mom would leave
me, my brother and my sister in the car...
1:05:13
...while she ran into the grocery store.
1:05:15
If you did that to a poodle now,
they would fry you on the 6:00 news.
1:05:22
Now that I'm grown
and have kids of my own...
1:05:25
...I understand why my mother didn't want
to take three young'uns in the store.
1:05:29
I would rather take a beating with a brick
stick than take kids in the grocery store.
1:05:35
Soon as those doors slide open...
1:05:36
...those kids start begging
like homeless people at Christmastime.
1:05:42
The worst aisle to take kids
down in the grocery store is...
1:05:47
...the cereal aisle.
I hate the cereal aisle.
1:05:50
You know why? Because kids buy cereal
the same way grown men buy lingerie.
1:05:56
They will buy stuff they care nothing about
just to get the prize that's inside.