Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie
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1:08:01
So you're always guaranteed to be right
next to the drapes while you played with it.

1:08:07
What were they thinking?
Did anybody else have the swing set?

1:08:10
My parents were too lazy
to actually pour the concrete in the ground.

1:08:14
With our swing set, every time you swung
above this high, the front legs would go:

1:08:26
There were stuntmen
that would not swing on our swing set.

1:08:32
What were they thinking,
some of those toys?

1:08:36
Lawn Darts.
1:08:39
Twelve-pound darts!
1:08:41
You could kill an elk
with a Lawn Dart!

1:08:44
There were no directions.
They came in a box of eight.

1:08:46
We pulled them out of the box,
threw them straight up in the air.

1:08:50
Catch one with your head...
1:08:51
...you're getting coloring books
for Christmas for the rest of your life.

1:08:58
A lot of guys say to me, "Man,
how you live with all those women? "

1:09:01
I love living with all those women.
1:09:04
I've accepted the fact they just about
have me trained the way they want me.

1:09:08
A lot of men go through their lives
never realizing they're being trained.

1:09:11
If you got a wife, girlfriend, mother
or daughter, you are being trained.

1:09:17
And just because they ain't using
the cattle prod don't mean it ain't happening.

1:09:22
I been married 1 8 years
to an awesome girl.

1:09:26
It did not dawn on me until
about year five she was training me.

1:09:29
I remember the night I realized it.
We were both in bed reading one night.

1:09:34
And my wife said:
1:09:36
"I'm hot."
1:09:39
And I closed my book...
1:09:42
...got out of bed...
1:09:44
...walked over to the wall,
I turned on the ceiling fan...

1:09:48
...I was almost back to the bed
and I went, "Whoa!

1:09:57
I wasn't hot."
1:09:59
I guarantee the next morning
she called her mother and said:


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