1:02:00
lf l can teach you one thing,
1:02:02
which is supposed
to be my job here...
1:02:05
...it'd be that
you should all go home.
1:02:09
Michael Bennett's dead.
Bob Fosse is dead.
1:02:14
Times Square
is a theme park now.
1:02:20
l hate to be the Grinch,
1:02:21
but it's not normal
what goes on up here.
1:02:24
Somebody has got to warn you.
1:02:27
Teenage faghags
become adult faghags.
1:02:32
Straight boys are straight.
1:02:34
You can't turn 'em
just because you need to be loved.
1:02:37
The foundation
that's being laid here
1:02:39
is not going to help you
in the real world.
1:02:43
lt's going to lead to
waitressing jobs and bitterness
1:02:47
and the obsessive,
pointless collecting
1:02:52
of out-of-print
original cast albums.
1:03:07
l don't know what your problem is,
and l don't really care.
1:03:09
Maybe you're a son of a bitch
just 'cause you haven't written a show
1:03:12
in, like, a million years.
1:03:14
Or maybe you're
just a stupid drunk,
1:03:16
but those kids,
they look up to you.
1:03:18
And they don't deserve
to be treated like that.
1:03:20
''They''? Did you think
l wasn't talking to you, too?
1:03:24
Or did l forget to mention that
1:03:25
you're a fraud who has to be
everybody's golden boy,
1:03:28
or you'll just shrivel up?
1:03:30
l've taken shots at drunks before.
1:03:32
Don't think l have some
honor code about it.
1:03:34
Bring it on.
1:03:37
What is your problem?
1:03:39
l don't have a problem.
1:03:42
There's a theater in Brooklyn
that's got a problem.
1:03:44
Seems they need
a rehearsal pianist,
1:03:47
and they thought l might just be
hard up enough to oblige.
1:03:51
So l sit in hot, stinking traffic
for three hours
1:03:55
just to drive down there
to find out it's not
1:03:57
the 200th revival
of my one hit show they wanted.