Down with Love
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1:16:02
to get the attention of a New York
publisher as well as KNOw magazine...

1:16:06
but insignificant enough
that as long as I went unseen,
KNOw magazine's star journalist...

1:16:11
would refuse
to do a cover story about it.

1:16:13
I knew that every time we were supposed
to meet, you would get distracted...

1:16:16
by one of your many girlfriends
and stand me up...

1:16:19
and this would give me a reason
to fight with you over the phone...

1:16:22
and declare that I wouldn't meet
with you for a hundred years.

1:16:25
And then all I would have to do
was be patient and wait...

1:16:29
the two or three weeks it would take
for everyone in the world...

1:16:32
to buy a copy of my best-seller--
1:16:34
and then I would begin to get
the publicity I would need for you...

1:16:38
to, one, see what I look like, and, two, see
me denounce you in public...

1:16:42
as the worst kind of man.
1:16:44
I knew this would make you wanna
get even by writing one of your exposés.

1:16:48
And in order to do that,
you would have to go undercover...

1:16:51
assume a false identity
and pretend to be the kind of man...

1:16:54
who would make the kind of girl
I was pretending to be fall in love.

1:16:57
Since I was pretending to be a girl
who would have sex on the first date...

1:17:01
you would have to pretend to be a man
who wouldn't have sex for several dates.

1:17:05
And in doing so,
we would go out on lots of dates...

1:17:09
to all the best places
and all the hit shows...

1:17:13
until finally, one night, you would
take me back to your place--

1:17:17
that you were pretending
was someone else's--

1:17:19
in order to get the evidence you needed
to write your exposé...

1:17:23
by seducing me
until I said, ''I love you.''

1:17:29
But saying ''I love you''
was also my plan.

1:17:34
I just wanted to tell you
the truth so that when you
heard me say, ''I love you''...

1:17:38
you would know that I knew who you were,
and you would know who I was.

1:17:42
Then you, the great Catcher Block...
1:17:45
would know that you'd
been beaten at your own game...

1:17:50
by me, Nancy Brown,
your former secretary.

1:17:54
And I would have,
once and for all, set myself apart...

1:17:58
from all the other girls
you've known, all those other girls...


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