:24:00
Now they have made me
a doctor of divinity,
:24:02
and I'm tempted to believe
that this scholar's robe
:24:07
will make me wise.
:24:09
Well, God once spoke
through the mouth of an ass.
:24:14
Perhaps he's about to
do so again.
:24:16
But I'll tell you straight
what I think.
:24:22
Who here has been to Rome?
:24:25
Did you buy an indulgence?
:24:28
No.
:24:29
I did.
:24:32
For a silver florin, I freed
my grandfather from Purgatory.
:24:40
For twice that, I could have sprung
grandma and Uncle Marcus too,
:24:43
but I didn't have the funds,
so they had to stay in the hot place.
:24:46
As for myself,
the priests assured me
:24:49
that by gazing at sacred relics,
:24:51
I could cut down
my time in Purgatory.
:24:53
Luckily for me, Rome had
enough nails from the Holy Cross
:24:56
to shoe every horse in Saxony.
:24:59
But there are relics
elsewhere in Christendom.
:25:03
Eighteen out of twelve apostles
are buried in Spain.
:25:09
And yet here in Wittenberg,
:25:11
we have the pick of the crop...
:25:13
bread from the Last Supper,
:25:15
milk from the Mirgin's breast,
:25:18
a thorn that pierced
Christ's brow on Calvary,
:25:21
and 19,000 other bits
of sacred bone,
:25:25
all authenticated sacred relics.
:25:27
Even John Tetzel himself...
:25:31
Inquisitor of Poland and Saxony,
:25:34
seller of indulgences
extraordinary,
:25:38
connoisseur of relics,
envies oun collection:
:25:43
To possess them
for a single night,
:25:46
he would willingly surrender
five years of his earthly life:
:25:57
Or 500 years in Purgatory.