1:30:01
Nobody gets you ready for this shit.
1:30:04
That's right, fellas, once you get married,
no more blow jobs.
1:30:07
If you like blow jobs, marriage ain't for you.
1:30:11
I haven't had a blow job in seven years.
1:30:14
I've had fellatio.
1:30:20
When you're single,
you get the best blow jobs in the world,
1:30:23
8, 12, 15 minutes straight
1:30:26
like the girl's auditioning on your dick,
like she's giving your dick a second opinion,
1:30:31
like she's going for her scuba licence.
1:30:35
You get married, every married man I know
gets the same lazy-ass blow job.
1:30:41
It's like three licks.
1:30:44
"Is it hard? Put it in. I gotta fold these clothes."
1:30:53
What kind of lazy-ass blow job is this shit?
1:30:57
If we was at a restaurant I would send it back.
1:31:01
Waiter, this blow job ain't ready yet.
1:31:04
Yo, marriage is tough, man.
Marriage is real fucking tough.
1:31:08
Marriage is so tough,
Nelson Mandela got a divorce.
1:31:11
Nelson Mandela got a fucking divorce.
1:31:15
Nelson Mandela spent 27 years
in a South African prison,
1:31:20
got beaten and tortured every day for 27 years,
1:31:25
and did it with no fucking problems.
1:31:27
Made to do hard labour
in 100-degree South African heat
1:31:31
for 27 years, and did it with no problems.
1:31:34
He got out of jail, after 27 years of torture,
1:31:38
spent six months with his wife and said,
1:31:41
"I can't take this shit no more!"
1:31:44
I'm outta here. Y'all take care.
1:31:47
Thank you!