:07:00
I'm saying you're late for work.
:07:03
How did you end up writing obituaries?
:07:06
Well, I had dreams of being a writer,
but I had no voice.
:07:11
What am I saying? I had no talent.
:07:13
So I ended up in obituaries,
which is the Siberia of journalism.
:07:17
Tell me what you do.
I want to imagine you in Siberia.
:07:21
Really?
:07:25
We call it "the obits page."
:07:29
There's three of us: me, Graham, and Harry.
:07:33
When I get to work, without fail...
Are you sure you want to know?
:07:38
Well, if someone important died,
we go to the "deep freeze"...
:07:46
which is a computer file...
:07:49
with all the obituaries,
and we find the dead person's life.
:07:52
People's obituaries are written
while they're still alive?
:07:55
Some people's.
:07:57
Then Harry, he's the editor,
decides who we'll lead with.
:08:01
Then we make calls, check facts.
:08:03
At 6:00, we stand around the computer
and look at the next day's page...
:08:08
and make final changes.
:08:11
Add a few euphemisms
for our own amusement.
:08:14
Such as?
:08:17
"He was a convivial fellow."
Meaning he was an alcoholic.
:08:22
"He valued his privacy." Gay.
:08:26
"He enjoyed his privacy." Raging queen.
:08:30
What would my euphemism be?
:08:33
- "She was disarming."
- That's not a euphemism.
:08:37
Yes, it is.
:08:48
- What were you doing in New York?
- You know.
:08:54
Well, no, I don't. What, were you studying?
:08:58
Stripping.