:16:00
I'm in love with Mieke.
:16:04
OK... OK.
:16:08
You know what?
I was actually expecting this.
:16:11
Frankly, I'm flattered
you picked me to come out to first.
:16:15
And don't worry about
telling your folks, 'cause...
:16:18
- I think they already know.
- No, you idiot. Mike is a girl.
:16:21
No, no, I get it. Yeah.
:16:23
He's the girl, and you're the girl,
and sometimes you're both the girl.
:16:28
Right?
:16:29
Right? That's hot.
:16:32
But whatever works for you.
I'm not gonna judge it.
:16:35
Will you stop? Look, come here.
Look at this picture.
:16:40
Wow. Who's the hot chick?
:16:41
That's "Mike." I mean, Mieke.
:16:45
That's who you've been writing to
all this time?
:16:48
Until last night,
when I took your advice
:16:50
and told her to keep her
"hands off my genitals."
:16:53
Given what we know now, that seems like
the exact opposite of what you want.
:16:58
This is a total disaster.
:17:01
Oh, come on. It's not that bad.
:17:04
Though she is really hot.
:17:06
You're not listening.
I don't even care what she looks like.
:17:09
Mieke and I had this incredible bond.
:17:12
I told her things
I couldn't even tell you.
:17:16
Like what?
:17:18
- Nothing. It's a figure of speech.
- No, seriously. What?
:17:21
- Nothing. The point...
- You like me better, right?
:17:24
This girl is not only smart and funny,
and stunningly beautiful,
:17:28
but until I screwed up, she wanted
to come all the way to America,
:17:31
just to be with me.
:17:32
- So do something about it.
- What can I do?
:17:36
She blocked her email account,
her phone number's not listed.
:17:39
The only thing I know
is she lives in Berlin.
:17:41
So go to Berlin.
:17:44
I can't just go to Berlin, Coop.
:17:47
- Why not?
- Because...
:17:49
I just can't, OK? I'm supposed
to work for my dad this summer.
:17:52
It looks good on
my med school application.
:17:55
Oh, Jesus, Scotty!
:17:57
Man, Fiona was right.
You're so predictable.